Very rarely do I meet expats in Thailand who don’t trash-talk Thai girls, or go about describing them as helpless puppies in need of their divine guidance. It’s quite saddening actually, because unless you’ve met a virgin–and there are plenty of them–you really haven’t met many good Thai girls. You can easily find a good girl in Thailand, but the folk that make the kingdom their sexual playground won’t stop bemoaning its dating scene, yet spend their time chasing love in all the wrong places (Read: Soi Nana).
I’ve got one piece of advice on finding a good girl in Thailand:
Get out of the bars and do what you’d do back home.
Go on dates.
If you want to find a good girl in Thailand, she won’t be in bars. She’ll be in places where girls back in your home country would be: at work, at the gym, hanging out with her friends, etc. I’ve lived in Thailand for over 5 years now and have never had trouble running into good girls.
The dating scene is exactly as it would be in the UK. I look at it no differently. But when I do find good girls in Thailand, there are distinct differences in cultural values which I’ve learned to take into account.
Here are cultural differences you can expect if you find a good girl in Thailand:
1. Language Barrier
That is the single biggest hurdle any expat will face. About 5-10% of Thai girls will have a decent enough command of English to carry on a passable conversation. If you move to Thailand and want to meet the remaining 95% of the girl population, which is a huge pool of very good girls, you will need to learn Thai. It’s that simple. Thai girls are very shy and their command of English alone is enough to deter them from dating a foreigner.
If you do speak Thai you will find that you are able to date Thai girls that are totally off-limits to non-Thai speaking foreigners. I have a pretty decent command of Thai and am not in the least bit concerned about competition from other expats.
2. The Third Wheel
When you find a good girl in Thailand, she’ll often come accompanied by a friend or family member on the first date. The unanticipated arrival of the third wheel shocked me at first, but I’ve since grown accustomed to it. If she comes accompanied by a sister or an aunt, you’ve more than likely hit a home run. I’ve found that the higher up the family echelon this third person is, the better the girl, usually.
3. They Are Not Promiscuous
As with any country in the world, you will find plenty of partners willing to sleep on first dates. However, there will be a distinct difference if you find a good girl in Thailand: sex won’t be on the table. It won’t even be on the table of the neighbor down the street. Many are actually virgins and will save themselves for marriage.
Those who aren’t virgins but are good girls may actually confess the fact they’ve lost their virginity and ask if you’d still like to date them. If your girl is willing to sleep with you on the first date, you may be one of many expats on her rolodex of lovers.
4. You Are Number Two
This isn’t specific to good girls only, but to all girls. Family comes first and foremost in Thailand. If the girl introduces you to her family, it is a very big step into her trust zone. You will be expected to want to learn traditions and manners. You will need to accept that family comes first. For example, if her sister needs her for the day, yet you want to spend time with your good girl too, well, tough luck. Her sister wins. You need to get used to the fact that you’re permanently number two. No way around it.
5. They Dress Conservatively
And they expect the same from you. It’s not hard to find a good girl in Thailand, simply look around. If you see a girl with classy, conservative taste, she’s more than likely that way inside-out. If her shorts ride her crotch and her shirt isn’t far behind on the exposure scale, then you may have a party or bar girl on your hands. That isn’t to say the latter aren’t fun people, but we’re not talking about fun people here–we’re talking about how to find a good girl in Thailand.
Here’s another tip on how to find a good girl in Thailand: check out her facebook page and see if she has any beach pictures. Many good girls wear shorts to the beach (even into the water). If she’s out in a Brazilian bikini, you may have found yourself a closet sex fiend. Admittedly, many of the girls in Bangkok have a more edgy style.
6. The Online Game
If you’re looking for a girl online, there are warning signs you should be on the lookout for. These include having her skype, line ID, or other social media info in her profile. If that is the case, she is probably being bombarded by messages (and is the type that constantly needs attention). Just like any other country, conservative girls wouldn’t reveal their personal information so readily.
If she is very slow to respond because she doesn’t log in often, you may have a winner. Those who log in very frequently may be playing the field–especially if their join date goes back a year or more.
7. The Ground Game
The most tactful way to approach a Thai girl, in my opinion, is by paying her a compliment and handing her a business card. It is non-confrontational, tangible, and discardable. If she doesn’t want to contact you, she can simply chuck the card away. Make sure your line ID is clearly visible on the business card. Line is the most commonly used social media chat application in Thailand. If she chooses to contact you, she will more than likely add you on Line and send you a cute sticker.
It just amazes me that such a bad reputation is given to good girls in Thailand–and why? Because of a prevailing sex industry? That’s no excuse to categorize them as sex toys. Some would venture to say that That girls are easier. It is true that foreigners can get away with more and are probably forgiven for some of their short-comings, such as dressing like crap. But the higher up the social echelon the girl, the less forgiveness you will find.
My biggest piece of advice is one repeated so often, yet always ignored: stay away from the bars. It astounds me how many successful folk fall in love with bar girls, thinking they’re wife material. Instead of feeling sorry and charitable for those who chose a certain path in life,
Learn Thai and find a good girl in Thailand.
It’s no different here than it would be anywhere else in the world. If you only speak Spanish and move to the U.S., you will need to learn English to communicate with an American woman.
Admittedly, I found ThaiFriendly to be the easiest way to quickly meet women. You’ll find many of the ladies there to be on the younger side, and they often speak decent English.
But my advice is to learn as much Thai as you can, because most of the girls in Thailand do not speak good English–especially in places like Chiang Mai or the South. Once you have a decent command of the language, which requires only a few months of practice, you’ll be surprised at the opportunities which open up before you.
You not only can find a good girl in Thailand.
But you’ll find yourself making very good friends with Thais and enjoying the country the way it is meant to be enjoyed,
In good company.
A few resources you may be interested in:
- 5 Best Dating Apps in Thailand
- Living in Pattaya: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
- Book with Agoda for the best hotel and hostel deals in Thailand!
- Dating in Thailand: Tips & Advice
Do you have any advice of your own on how to find a good girl in Thailand? What has your dating experience been like in Thailand?
About the author: John Davidson is a fellow banker and graduate of Boston University. John graduated with a degree in Economics and then went on to pursue an MBA at Boston College. He has lived in Thailand for five and a half years and currently lives in Bangkok, where he met and got engaged to a good girl in Thailand.